Season's greetings and eatings

From The Simpsons:

Homer and Marge are in an all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant. They've been there so long that Marge has fallen asleep, but Homer is still eating enthusiastically. The staff are ready to close up for the night and restaurant proprietor, Captain McAlister, tries to convince Homer it's time to leave.

HOMER (eating): Can't talk... Eating...

Captain McAlister throws him out. Homer goes home, but is furious. He wants to make an issue out of the incident.

HOMER: This is my quest! I'm like that guy, that Spanish guy. You know... He fought the windmill...
MARGE: Don Quixote?
HOMER: No, that's not it. What's-his-name... The Man of La Mancha.
MARGE: Don Quixote.
HOMER: No!
MARGE: I really think that was the character's name. Don Quixote.
HOMER: Fine! I'll look it up! (looks it up)
MARGE (annoyed): Well? Who was it?
HOMER: Never mind.

Homer seeks legal advice from Lionel Hutz's "I Can't Believe It's a Law Firm" law firm.

HOMER: All you can eat! Ha!
HUTZ: Mr Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film, "The Never-Ending Story"!
...
HOMER: So, do you think I have a case?
HUTZ: I don't use the word "hero" very often, but you are the greatest hero in American history!
HOMER: Woo-hoo!

Homer and Hutz take Captain McAlister to Night Court. McAlister's defence team brings in bags and bags of shrimp to show how much Homer ate.

McALISTER'S ATTORNEY (cross-examining Marge): Isn't it true that your husband consumed a ten-pound bag of flour when no other food was available?

A pizza is delivered to Homer in the court room :)

Hutz questions Marge and finds that after being thrown out of the restaurant, Homer drove around until 3 am looking for another all-you-can-eat restaurant, and unable to find one, went fishing. Marge collapses in tears. Hutz addresses the jury of Homer's peers, all overweight citizens. Captain McAlister (sensing defeat?) approaches Homer and offers a settlement.

Homer returns to the restaurant and happily indulges in all-you-can-eat again, this time at the window table.

CAPTAIN McALISTER (to the huge crowd of onlookers, ushering them inside): Come for the freak! Stay for the food!

- from The New Kid on the Block, written by Conan O'Brien (and I've altered the transcript).

I hope you and your stomach are having a freakishly good Christmas/New Year period, reader. Best wishes :)